Coping with Loneliness

Loneliness is a common human experience and a powerful reminder of our need for connection to others. However, it can sometimes lead to feeling empty and unwanted. It is important to notice how we appraise or interpret these feelings and the meaning we assign to feeling lonely. It is not uncommon to experience critical thoughts, such as “nobody likes me,” and self-blame, such as “I’m socially awkward and can’t talk to people,” further causing us to feel alone and diminishing our capacity for connecting with others. Therefore, it is helpful to pay attention to how loneliness plays into your state of mind. What is your self-talk? Do you get stuck in negative thinking? Do you criticize or blame yourself? If the answer is yes, try labeling these thoughts as a negative or unhelpful pattern of thinking, rather than facts. 

You can also practice viewing loneliness as an invitation to connect to others. Most people appreciate the opportunity to be supportive, so it is wise to let go of any worries that you might be a bother if you reach out for support. In fact, other people usually benefit from providing support and connecting with others in this way. Furthermore, everyone experiences difficulties at some point. Therefore, it is also helpful to let go of any thoughts that suggest your concerns are insignificant or unworthy of care and attention from others. Ultimately, reaching out to connect with others benefits everyone in your community and helps us all grow stronger together. 

Dr. Thomas Lindquist, Psy.D.

Licensed Clinical Psychologist

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Published by tlindquistpsyd

Licensed Clinical Psychologist

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