The concept and notion of exploring our shadow has gained recent attention in popular culture. The Swiss psychiatrist, Carl Jung, was the first to use this term to designate aspects of personality that are unconscious and separate from our conscious identity as a result of our adaptation to the demands of our environment. 

Over the course of our development, we make sacrifices or ‘cut-off’ aspects of conscious personality that do not fit into the context and expectations for our lives and our identity (our ego consciousness). In this manner, we repress a broad range of our personality as well as our individuality in our unconscious (shadow). The resulting shadow complex includes not only the negative or dark things as commonly thought, but also anything that did not fit with our conscious identity and the expectations of our family and culture.

One of my favorite ways to begin understanding our shadow involves our reactions to others. Jung famously commented, “everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” Here Jung is suggesting that we can learn about our shadow through others because we tend to project our shadow onto others. Specifically, when we are irritated by the behavior of others, it is largely because we have ‘cut-off’ this aspect of ourselves and relegated it to our shadow as unacceptable to our ego or our conscious identity. We then project it onto others as a means of denying it, but do not realize that we are projecting. Nevertheless, the experience typically becomes: We are not bad, they are bad. 

Let’s look at an example. Consider a person who is always on time for appointments and reacts very negatively to others being late. When they see someone arrive late, they become irritated because they view this as an unacceptable behavior. As such, they would never imagine arriving late and would likely meet with harsh self-criticism when they do arrive late as they judge themselves as lazy or careless. They may also lead a restrictive or stressful life as they work hard to avoid being late at all costs. Being late does not fit into their ego or conscious identity and worldview. I am not a late person. And possibly, If I am late that means I am lazy, careless, or disrespectful. 

Yet, being late is inescapable as a common human experience. Coming to understand and accept that they can sometimes be late, that this does not mean they are careless, and that this is not the end of the world as they know it, would be an example of understanding the shadow and integrating it into the conscious personality. Furthermore, understanding that others might be late and that they are not necessarily careless or oppositional is an example of withdrawing their projection, which would allow for them to more clearly and compassionately relate to others.

Importantly, the shadow can also include underdeveloped aspects of our personality that have not had a supportive environment to facilitate their development. For example, a very confident and outspoken person may irritate us if we have not developed our own confidence or have never allowed ourselves to be outspoken. Such a person might likewise believe that to be assertive is to be selfish, so they go through life being pushed around by others. They may further attempt to rationalize or defend their behavior, but would likely be left with feelings of resentment and guilt.

In this case, the potential for assertiveness and the resentment both form part of the shadow. Integrating the shadow might involve becoming aware of this dynamic, tracing it back to its origins to broaden their conscious awareness and self-compassion, and challenging their current views and on assertive behavior, thereby leading to both growth and development around assertiveness as well as reduced resentment and guilt. 

James Hollis, PhD, a Jungian Analyst and author provides a number a useful questions for personal reflection on the shadow. Below are several examples taken from his work, including the question of what annoys or irritates you about others.

1. What do you consider your virtues? Can you imagine the opposite? Where do these turn up in your outer life?
2. Examine the key patterns of your relationships. Where does the shadow manifest as avoidance or repetitions that bring negative consequences? 
3. Where do you repeatedly undermine yourself?
4. Where are you stuck in your life or blocked in your development? What fear(s) blocks your growth? 
5. Where does your history still govern your life either through repetition or overcompensation? 

Becoming familiar with the shadow is an essential, yet difficult part of personal growth or becoming more well rounded and whole. Ultimately, the shadow contains a broad range of qualities, capacities and potential, which if not recognized and integrated, remain as a limitation to our personality. The simple thing to keep in mind is that the shadow contains everything that has been ‘cut-off’ and everything that remains underdeveloped in our personality. By accessing and understanding our shadow, we can open a door to living a more full and meaningful life with greater self-acceptance as well as a deeper awareness and connection to our values and individual integrity. 

Dr. Thomas Lindquist, Psy.D.

Licensed Psychologist

t.lindquist.psyd@gmail.com