Internal Working Models

Based on extensive observational and longitudinal studies, we now know that many of the most important lessons about who we are in relation to others is established by the time we are twelve months old. It is during this time of development that our internal working model begins to take shape.

An internal working model can be defined as a psychological framework that provides an understanding of the self, others, and the world. This framework is developed by one’s prior experiences with a primary caregiver(s) and creates representations that influence current behavior. Ultimately, internal working models contain the habitual attachment and emotion-regulating strategies that come to characterize the way we relate to ourselves and others. 

However, internal working models can present a challenge due to the fact that they originate largely before we have developed language. Therefore, these models are largely nonverbal and implicit or unconscious. We are less inclined to consciously remember such knowledge, but will typically act accordingly as is true with other forms of implicit knowledge. 

Think about learning to ride a bike, which is an example of implicit procedural knowledge. Once we learn to ride, we simply ride, without consciously recalling all of the details and movements involved. In a similar way, once we learn our internal working model of self and others, we simply relate. That is, we engage in our relationships with others in the ways that are familiar to us based on our early relationships. 

The most important implicit memories within our internal working model involve how we relate to ourselves and others through our behavior and feelings as well as what we expect from our relationships. Am I valuable and effective in relating to others? Are others dependable and trustworthy? In addition, internal working models impact what we attend to most, how we interpret interactions, and what we remember after our interactions. 

It can be helpful to think of our internal working model as an emotional reflex within any given interpersonal context. The following example is an accurate, but somewhat simplified, example. If we experienced consistent positive responses to soothe our distress in early childhood, it might be likely that we readily seek support from others without much thought. If responses were dismissive or critical, we might avoid reaching out for support to minimize the negative impact of being dismissed or criticized.

Although it can be difficult to understand our own internal working model, it is possible to observe clues through our patterns of behaviors and emotional responses within relationships. We can pay attention to how we enact our internal working model in various contexts, the types of people or interactions that trigger certain reactions, and how things tend to progress as we meet and interact with new people. All of this can provide clues to help us bring our implicit relational knowing to some level of conscious awareness. Anytime we become more aware of unconscious patterns, flexibility and deliberate choice become more possible. 

Dr. Thomas Lindquist, Psy.D.

Licensed Psychologist

Contact: t.lindquist.psyd@gmail.com