How we label an experience determines how it appears to us. This insight, seemingly obvious on the surface, strikes at the heart of how we suffer and how we might be liberated from suffering.

The Mind’s Habit of Naming

We move through our lives constantly labeling: good/bad, safe/dangerous, pleasant/unpleasant, mine/theirs, success/failure. These mental habits arise automatically, without conscious choice. A traffic jam becomes “a nightmare.” A difficult conversation is “a disaster.” A new task feels like “a burden.” With every label, we create a reality. And then, we live inside it.

This is not to say that these things don’t happen—but the way we name them changes their meaning and our emotional reaction to them. Label something as “hopeless,” and we’ll experience despair. Label the same thing as “a challenge,” and we may respond with courage.

The moment we name something, it becomes fixed in our perception. It becomes a thing—an object with edges and boundaries. This is where the Buddhist teaching of emptiness enters: nothing has a fixed, permanent identity. Things are fluid, interconnected, always in motion. But the act of labeling freezes the flow and turns process into permanence.

Naming as a Form of Rejection—or Welcome

Labeling can be a form of resistance. When we name something “wrong” or “unfair,” we push it away, reinforcing separation. This is especially potent when we label parts of ourselves: “I’m lazy,” “I’m too sensitive,” “I’m a failure.” The label becomes a verdict, not just a description. It locks us in.

But there is an alternative: awareness without judgment. Can we meet what arises—thoughts, emotions, experiences—without immediately slapping a label on them? Can we feel anger without calling it “bad”? Can we notice fear without labeling ourselves “weak”?

This shift is the essence of compassion: not fixing, not resisting, just seeing.

Practice: Noticing the Label

Here is a simple yet profound practice inspired by Welcoming the Unwelcome:

1. Notice when you are upset or reactive.
2. Pause, and ask: What label have I just applied to this moment?
3. Inquire gently: Is this label absolutely true? How does it shape my experience?
4. Open up to other possibilities. What if I labeled this “a moment of learning” or “just energy moving”?
5. Breathe, and allow the label to soften, even dissolve.

This practice doesn’t mean pretending everything is fine. Rather, it invites us to see how our inner commentary co-creates our reality—and how we can shift that experience by loosening our grip on our labels.

Why It Matters

When we learn to see labeling as a habit rather than a truth, we begin to reclaim our freedom. We can choose how to meet the moment. We can stop reacting out of habit and start responding with awareness. And we can begin to relate to ourselves and others with more kindness, curiosity, and openness.

You are the sky. Everything else is just the weather. Labels are like passing storms. They obscure the sky but cannot change it. Beneath every label is something far more spacious and free.

Dr. Thomas Lindquist, Psy.D.

Licensed Psychologist

Contact: t.lindquist.psyd@gmail.com