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Personal growth is often imagined as becoming “better” — calmer, more confident, more disciplined. But deep psychological growth looks different. It involves becoming more whole. In depth psychology, the “shadow” refers to the parts of ourselves we have disowned, suppressed, or learned to hide. These may include anger, envy, insecurity, ambition, dependency, vulnerability, or even…
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One of the most subtle, and most exhausting, patterns in relationships is the unconscious belief that we are responsible for how the other person feels. Many of us learn this early. We learn to read the room, anticipate moods, smooth over tension, and prevent discomfort. Over time, this can start to feel like love. But…
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When life feels overwhelming, our minds do something very unhelpful. They zoom out. Suddenly you’re not facing one task — you’re facing your entire life at once. The messy kitchen becomes a symbol of failure. The unread emails feel like proof you’re falling behind. The hard conversation turns into a verdict about who you are.…
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Most of us were never taught how to regulate our emotions. We were taught how to behave, how to perform, how to be polite, but not how to stay connected to ourselves when fear, anger, sadness, or shame surge through the body. Yet emotion regulation is not a personality trait. It is a trainable neurobiological…
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Every January, the world quietly hands us the same script: Start over. Do better. Fix yourself. Hurry. Gyms fill. Journals open to blank pages. Resolution lists grow ambitious, then quietly disappear by Valentine’s Day. And yet something in the soul resists this yearly demand for reinvention. What if this New Year is not asking you…
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When winter arrives—days shorten, temperatures drop, and sunlight fades—many people experience a shift in mood, energy, sleep, and motivation. In the U.S., seasonal mood changes are common: approximately 5% of Americans experience Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), and 10–20% experience milder winter-related mood changes (National Institute of Mental Health, 2020). But interestingly, countries like Norway, with…
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Worry often disguises itself as responsibility, care, or preparation. We tell ourselves that if we think about a problem long enough, we can prevent something bad from happening. Yet from a Jungian and psychodynamic perspective, worry is rarely about the external situation itself — it’s a psychological defense, a mental ritual that helps the ego…
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Relationships are full of spoken agreements—who does the dishes, how money is spent, what weekends look like. But many of the most powerful agreements are the ones we don’t talk about. These are the “covert contracts”: unspoken bargains we make in our heads without ever letting our partner in on them. What Is a Covert…
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Compromise is one of the most essential skills in any healthy relationship. Whether between partners, friends, colleagues, or family members, the ability to meet in the middle often determines the resilience of the bond. Yet, compromise is frequently misunderstood. It is not about giving up who you are or silencing your needs, it’s about balancing…
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The Stoic philosopher Epictetus (c. 50–135 CE) was born a slave and later became one of the most influential teachers of ancient philosophy. His central message was simple but powerful: while we can’t control external events, we can control our own minds, choices, and responses. By focusing on what is within our power, we cultivate…
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